he loves me, he loves me not

"he loves me, he loves me not"
oh how i hate that phrase. because it pretty accurately describes the game that we as girls play in our head every single time we like a guy.
"oh he just smiled at me. he likes me for sure!"
"why would he ignore me like that. i guess he doesnt like me"

any girl that says that they have never had thoughts like that is lying and i will be the first to admit i am horrible about constantly needing approval from that ONE GUY. why do we care so much?? honestly, i want a guy to like me for me. yet at the same time i am constantly wanting him to think that i am awesome and i want him to think i am basically the BEST THING EVER. and i have done this on more than one occasion. i have literally changed how i act to please a guy. however i never seem to see how much i am changing for this guy until after its over.

so yea i'm not really sure what this blog was supposed to accomplish but this stuff has just kinda been on my mind. and no matter how much i tell myself that i dont need others approval i want it so much.... everyone wants to be liked.


okay another thing that has been on my mind is this whole business of me still liking this one boy. a little bit of background on the story.....
we flirted and everyone thought we were dating and i was basically head over heels
then he got a girlfriend... and i found out via facebook
yea that sucked
so then everything was SUPER akward
he broke up with the girlfriend a couple days ago and now we are flirting again = ]

and people have starting saying things like "i thought you were over him." and basically making fun of me for still liking this one guy and i really couldnt explain why i couldnt let him go. and then i was watching tv and someone said something along the lines of ..."the one you love is the one that everytime you hear something funny or you are sad or upset THAT PERSON is the one you want to run to and tell them all about it"
and this describes how i am feeling perfectly. everytime i'm mad or happy or whatever he is one of the first people i want to tell.

so you have prolly noticed that i am very much consumed with thoughts about relationships and such and i really to think about it way too much but i thought i would share becuase i can = ]